New Old Moms Need Play Dates Too!
Welcome back! Have you Joined The Club?
New Old Mom Park Play Dates
Baby Beans goes to the park or the beach pretty much every day with her New Old Dad, Jack. There are always lots of kids her age to play with so she loves it. As a two year old (almost three), her social calendar is packed with play dates and parties.
Both my husband and I are pretty social people so we usually find a way to start up a conversation with at least one parent while we are there. What I usually muse at is the variety pack of age groups that we end of socializing with.
Literally, the range of park players can go from teen baby sitters to college age nannies right up to grandparent caregivers. Maybe because of the economy or just the change in the times, the daytime playmates for parents aren’t just that 20-30 year old crowd with the 2.5 children and the white picket fence.
The wide range of caregivers that we come across during the course of any given day is great for keeping up on things from all different perspectives but sometimes it is nice to be able to hang with people that have similar situations and lifestyles. Guess I am looking for a moms/dads over 40 crowd to have play dates of my own with! Finding other New Old Moms/Dads has taken on a life of its own!
Finding other moms over 40 has been an interesting challenge. Doing a local Google search, not much comes up yet I know that the number of new mom over 40 is on the rise. Besides for The New Old Moms Club, there are a few other sites that are geared toward Moms over 40:
These are all excellent sites with great information but I was still looking for more.
I was recently interviewed by a local TV Station, 10 Connects for a story on Blogging For Bucks and I had noticed that right on there site they had a link to a local Moms Group Moms Like Me with a link to a separate local discussion group. A start…cool!
Maybe you might be reading this thinking that I am being a bit picky looking for groups that consist of moms over 40 when, honestly, moms in general tend to have the same issues with kids, parenting, spouses, education and everything else. Not so though. I have definitely found that there are things about being a new mom over 40 that are different than they were when I had my first three girls at 30.
First of all, when I became pregnant at 40, people in general found it necessary to make comments to me that they never would have said if I were younger. Yes, I’ll admit it, I am a bit more tired on occasion but have been working on staying fit (get on the list for the relaunch of FitMomsover40 coming soon!) Finding work as an older mom has presented its own set of issues. Sometimes, I feel a bit self-conscientious about being “the grandma” at the playground. And, since I have older children, they remind me regularly that I will be about 100 when Baby Beans is just getting out of school!
Camaraderie is good. As a parent, you should look to be part of many different groups of like-minded people. Make sure not to jump into the “ain’t it awful” groups because they are counter productive to your purpose of sharing stories, laughs and advice! When I had my first three daughters, many of my friends had children about the same age so we got together regularly and I joined a Mommy and Me Group through our local church.
Ten years later, the Internet has provided a great source for locating groups as a mom and a parent. Finding groups for moms over 40 has been a bit more difficult but there is only one way to change that! Start a group myself.
At Moms Like Me, you can join the new group, New Old Moms by clicking here.
If you would like to see if there is a local groups for your area, go to the Moms Like Me Home Page to see if there is one. If not, go ahead and start one!
Meetup is another great source for finding groups in any areas that gather on just about any topic. There is a Moms Meetup page for finding local Mom Groups. At this point there wasn’t any Moms over 40 Meetup Groups but look for that to change soon! Don’t be afraid to start one in your area either!
Are you on Face Book? I just went there and started a Face Book New Old Moms Club. Come join us and share some stories, laughs and advice with other Face Book Moms over 40!
If you aren’t on Twitter, go do it now! Twitter is an awesome source for meeting other moms, interacting and becoming part of a community. Follow me at New Old Mom for connections with other moms and definitely join TwitterMoms to stay in tuned with what’s going on with moms on Twitter.
New Old Moms need play dates too but sometimes you have to be the one to make the call, start the group or send out the invitation. I invite you to Join the New Old Moms Club today and look forward to some great conversation between moms of all ages!
P.S. watch for the launch of the New Old Mom sister sites coming soon!
New Old Moms Entrepreneur Club
Fit Moms Over 40
New Old Moms Go Green
Sarah Palin is a New Old Mom? Was the Decision to Have a Baby at 44 Safe?
Sarah Palin a New Old Mom?
Is becoming a New Mom at 44 a bad thing?
Twitter is quickly revolutionizing the way people meet, market, communicate and debate on the Internet. It is a force to be reckoned with!
This morning I saw a Twitter friend introduce a new Twitter Pal of hers @TVMOM. That is Peggy Fox from WUSA9 in DC. Peggy had covered the story on the Walmart 11 Moms. If you haven’t seen that, you should. There are some amazing women there Walmart Money Saving Moms
Since much of Twitter is based on following like mind people and developing a community, as we discussed over at my Best Reflections Social Media Marketing Blog in most recent posts, I decided to follow Peggy.
The first post I saw was….
Pregnant at 44? Your thoughts on http://dc.momslikeme.com/me…
Then I noticed…
How responsible was Sarah Palin? At 44, she had a 1/41 chance of having a child with Down syndrome.
I do know that Peggy is a Reporter and used to stirring controversy but, I have to tell you, the hair stood up on the back of my neck. This is a topic that I am obviously very sensitive about. I went over to the forum and decided to join in even though it is specific to the DC area.
NOMC TIP: Unless a particular forum or group is closed to members only in that local area then go ahead and join! You never know who you’ll meet and what type of great advice you’ll get from other moms all over the world! It’s like having a Pen Pal.
The question posed was…
High Risk of Down Syndrome
 36 posts |
Submitted by TVMom on 08-Sep-08 11:34 PM
Sarah Palin, at 44, had a 1/41 chance of delivering a baby with down syndrome. That's partly why they're called high risk pregnancies. The older you are, the riskier it is to have a healthy baby. Do you think Palin knew those risks before she got pregnant? Just like we tell teenagers about the risks of sex and pregnancy, shouldn't older women consider the risks before having a baby? Is it none of anyone's business… or should every important decision she's made recently be looked at now? Here's a link about it the incidence of Down Syndrome with increasing maternal age: http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/downsyndrome/l/
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From the time I responded to the Twitter post, Pregnant at 44 ,to the time I got back from dropping my daughters off at school, the forum post title had changed to “High Risk of Down Syndrome” and the part about tell teenagers was added. Otherwise, I would have commented about that directly in my post on the forum.
Peggy raises some really excellent points in her query here. I happen to have very strong opinions about this topic since I am a New Old Mom.
Let me be very clear, at this point I am NOT making a political statement. I am merely supporting another New Old Mom that happens to be running for the Vice Presidency!
I am 44 years old right now also. I have 4 daughters. My youngest is 2 ½ and I had her just shy of my 41st birthday. I have all girls. If I were to become pregnant again tomorrow I would take that as a blessing. I believe that God gives you what you can handle in life. Sometimes, I do wonder, as I have stated previously, if I may have been mistaken for someone else? However, I am very happy to play the cards I am dealt. LOL
That statement I just made about getting what you can handle in like gives me a great segway into the issue of Down Syndrome. Peggy provided a link for Down Syndrome Statistics increasing with maternal age. Here it is: http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/downsyndrome/l/bldownssyn.htm
This link gives basically just a general overview of statistics.
Here is some additional information on Down Syndrome and the age of the mom from a Google Search.
The National Down Syndrome Society
The National Association For Down Syndrome
What Sarah Palin new about these statistics is hard to determine without actually asking her directly. I can only assume that since she is well educated and seems to be in good health that this common knowledge information was readily available to her and that she was well aware of these facts.
Whether she took them into consideration or not is also a question for Sarah Palin to answer. Honestly, I believe that it is also a question that is irrelevant. It is irrelevant to anyone outside of her family and definitely irrelevant to a political campaign.
In my situation, we had gone on vacation. I came home with a souvenir!
We had 3 healthy daughters at the time. Due to a pesticide poisoning at our home, I had had a very difficult 3rd pregnancy and some health issues. We had decided that if I wasn’t pregnant by the time I was 40 then…game over. It was about a week before my 40th birthday that I found out that I was going to be a mom again and over 40!
I did have concerns. I did worry about Down Syndrome and other issues common to pregnancy at an older age. When I was pregnant with my first daughter I worried, too.
I did not have amniocentesis done. I had been under the impression that it was mandatory for women over 35. My doctor explained that that was NOT true anymore. That with technology these days amnio was not required and would only be done by choice.
My doctor also informed me that many of the moms that she was seeing at an older age were in better health and more fit than the younger moms! I know that was my case. I was in the best shape I had been in since I had my first daughter was born!
Now the Down Syndrome issue…
One of my best friends and I were discussing the amnio thing. I said the 'God gives you what you can handle' thing and she quickly responded that…”it’s not about you. I know you can handle anything. It’s about your other girls.”
She proceeded to tell me a story about a friend to cares for a Down Syndrome sibling. They are in their late 40’s or 50’s now. Her friend takes care of the sibling completely.
My friend’s question was, “Do you want to leave that burden to one of your daughters?”
The question shocked me. It made me think. It made me cry. I cried…a lot. In the end, a child is a child and a gift. Period.
About Sarah Palin's choices…
I have to say, Sarah Palin, like me and other Moms over 40, probable had to deal with many comments like this one and the many others that I fielded when it became public knowledge that I was pregnant and “over 40”! People often feel the need to give advice or make comments that you need to take with a grain of salt. Unfortunately, though, many people forget to turn their brain on when the turn their mouth on!
Forty is the New Thirty…Period!
Women in this 21st Century are smart, healthy, fit, business owners, entrepreneurs, soccer moms (or hockey moms in Sarah Palin’s case) and we are having healthy, beautiful babies!
Medical technology has changed dramatically just from the time I had my first daughter to the time I had my fourth daughter. I am sure it will be even better if I have a fifth child!
Pregnancy is a condition not a disease.
The decision to become pregnant or have a child later in life is a decision that is private to that family. It absolutely should not be placed in the political focus. If the question is whether Sarah Palin’s decision should be scrutinized or not then I have to say a resounding “NO”.
As I stated in the forum post, the decision only affects the immediate family. In Sarah’s case the people of Alaska would have been affected only if she was unable to do her job. Many politicians have had real life threatening diseases while in office and it was dealt with in a very matter of fact way. Again, pregnancy is a condition not a disease and should be thought of in that same way.
The New Old Moms Club
My reasons for starting this blog along with its up and coming sister blogs, New Old Moms Entrepreneur Club, Fit Moms Over 40 and two other New Old Mom Blogs that you can watch for are mainly because of the stigmas that I have run into regarding “over 40” and especially “new mom over 40”.
I hope these blogs, as they grow and flourish, provide a place for other New and Old Moms and women in general over 40 to inspire, motivate and empower each other. Together we are redefining what it means to be “OLD”.
Sarah Palin’s decision to have a baby at 44 should not even be a point of contention here today. I applaud her, congratulate her and welcome Sarah to the New Old Mom’s Club.
The Changed My Life Baby and The Beach Lady
Life. It is amazing how you can be chugging along on one path then….BOOM…hair pin turn takes you in a whole different direction.
I am a true believer in this, “God gives you what you can handled in life”. Just sometimes I wonder if he has my mistaken with someone else?
Let me tell you about the Lady at the Beach and how I came up with the New Old Moms Club. Baby Beans loves the beach. She could spend all day everyday there. A few months back, Beans and I had done our walk and decided to play on the sand hill. She calls it HER mountain. As she ran up and down with me following, I had noticed this old woman watching us.
You know when you can just tell when someone has something to say? Well, she did alright. Once again, I have to tell you, people need to turn their brains on before they speak…Click-Power On Please! Well, here’s how the conversation went…
After complimenting me on how beautiful Baby Beans is, she asked with a confused look, “Is she you little ‘change of life’ baby?” Stop right there. I was 43 at the time and in my opinion at least, I didn’t look old enough to be going through my ‘change of life’.
I quickly replied, “No. She was a vacation souvenior but she definitely has CHANGED my life!”. I guess my annoyed expression and sharp tone said what I was really thinking because the woman, slightly red-faced, replied, “Oh, I see. You’re just one of those…New Old Moms.”
Thankfully (for her), Baby Beans scampered off just out of reach so I had to say good bye to my new found enemy to chase after her. I don’t know if at that point I was more angry or embarassed. New Old Mom? What the heck is that supposed to mean anyway? I am a new Mom over 40 but when did 40 become Old?
When I got home and relayed the story to Jack he just laughed. He told me just to ignore it and reassured me that I had had more energy over with four children, businesses, volunteering, coaching and everything else than some 30 year old moms do.
New OLD Mom. The old part still really annoyed me. I can’t say I didn’t wonder when I found out I was pregnant at 40 how all this would work out. I was scared. Again, I do believe everything does happen for a reason in life.
Well, Baby Beans might not have been a ‘change of life’ baby but she sure did change our life completely…all for the better. She gives me motivation, inspiration and whether I want it or not, she keeps my o my toes!
As far as the ‘New Old Mom’ thing, I am a perpertual glass full person. Hence, you are at the New Old Moms Club and will soon have the opportunity to visit the New Old Moms Entrepreneur Club! Don’t forget to check out Fit Moms Over 40, too!
I am celebrating being over 40 as a new mom, an old mom and as a women! Life may take unexpected turns sometimes. Enjoy the path you are on, whatever it may be and embrace who you are at any age!
Mouth On-Brain Off…think before you speak to a pregnant women!
Did you ever wonder if some people’s mouths were actually connected to their brains?
As a New Old Mom I found that when people see a pregnant women somehow, their “brain to mouth” connection just shuts off.
This fact became even more apparent when I become pregnant with my fourth daughter.
Remember, I had just turned 40 when I found out I was pregnant with her. Now this is just my opinion but, I kind of thought I was in pretty good shape and, in my mind at least, I didn’t look 40.
Let me tell you what happened when we finally to decided to tell the girls that I was pregnant and then what happened when they told the very first person.
It was already July. I was scared to tell the girls. I was just starting to show so it had to be done. I hid in the kitchen and made Jack do it. I heard screams from behind the wall. I couldn’t tell it they were good screams or bad screams. I took a big breath and went into the living room.
Well, here is what I was met with: My oldest, 10 at the time was so excited that she couldn’t contain herself. You see, she had said about a week before that she wanted a new baby brother or sister. I told her thanks and next time “be careful what you wish for!”
My middle daughter, 8 years old, was definitely not happy. Her exact words were, “our family is full!”
Now my youngest one, at the time, was 7. She had a confused look on her face and just asked, “I thought we were getting a puppy?” Kids speak from honesty point. I’m OK with that.
Adults, on the other hand, sometime speak from the stupidity point.
The next day at Summer Camp the girls’ excitement to spread the news was uncontrollable despite my concerns. They had to tell someone! Well, it happens that they ran into a mom they knew and blurted the news out before I got a chance to stop them.
Here is what happened next. The mom looked at me. Cocked her head from one side to another then asked, “How old are you anyway?”
I almost hit the floor. I told her I had just turn 40 and tried to brush off the question. She clearly saw how uncomfortable it made me and tried the old “compliment cover up” by saying I didn’t look “that old”.
Was she having a brain-mouth disconnect moment?
I wasn’t quite sure until she then asked me this question: “You’re still coaching Fall Soccer right? I requested you as the coach?”
It was a definite. The power was not on. I wanted to slap her upside of the head and say “Click-power on please!” but at that point it was easier just to smile and walk away.
Over the entire nine month of my pregnancy and to this date, I can tell you for a fact that there are way too many people out there that don’t wake up and click there brain power on. And, in some cases, some people just have wires shorted out.
By the way… my middle daughter has turned out to be the most loving sister of all and the best with the baby in case you were wondering.
So join the club…being a New Old Mom is awesome!
If you’ve ever had someone say something to you that it was clear their power wasn’t on…tell us about! You are definitely not alone!
Have a great one!
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